BeLiEvE iN mE hElP mE BeLiEvE iN aNyThInG cAuSe I wAnT tO bE sOmEoNe WhO bEliEvEs....
I have this overwhelming downheart sensation. Mental tiredness, melancholy overdose, 100000% overly anxious...I'm mad at myself for being compassionate, comprehensive and to have give everything until remain myself completely empty. I am angry, again a non-believer... "How to mistrust the ones you supposedly love the most"??? if they are always acting in a biassed way with the same egoistical-ulterior motive which is their own convenience.
Okay no problem, let's play selfishness,let's fight, let's shout, let's transform our positive energy into negative things but then do not ask for excuses, I do not forgive anymore when you keep having this outrageous behavior (who am I to forgive???).
I am surprised by my vindictive behavior that makes flow loads of disagreeable feelings that you can even see in my eyes, notice in my voice and maybe not recognize in me that person who use to has the habit of feeling good things and reflect them, always trying to help, to bright up and to encourage others. Call me proud, silly, stupid, (whatever) but this time I won't be the one who opens her mouth to emit a single sound.
I wish I could be selfish ... The hug will feel forced upon me inconsolable thing ...
"...nos es lo mismo vasta o bastar
ni es lo mismo, decir, opinar, imponer o mandar
las listas negras, las manos blancas...(verás)
no es lo mismo
no gana el que tiene más ganas...
¿no sé si me explico?
que hoy nadie quiere ser igual
que mas te da,
no es como un "ismo"...es instinto..."*
Lately and more than ever I need my space, my air, my music, my voice (to yell out load), my legs to run away,
my hands to slap faces and asses ..sex removes the stress :-) a few trips (Amsterdam-A Coruña-London-Rome- Prague-Toronto/Ottawa-NYC/FL-... randomly) and I need you Marta LL., Ruiwei, Marta B., Peter, Juha, Melanie,
Helio, Judith, Gonçalo, Nana, Agustín, Mathieu, Eva, David, Alanis....randomdly).
"...been left for you oh the books i've read for you the tongues i've bitten for you many
a new city for you many a risk taken for you (not a single regret.)" **
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ruiwei -