There are billion of people in this planet yet you will hear poeple tell you that they are lonely... if we dont reach out, love can not find us.

Are you lonely even when you are surrounded by lots of people? Do you feel that way? I do.
I wish I could understand others (okay specially someone)... "if you walk in someone else’s shoes for a mile then you will understand why they behave the way they do"... but why do I have to understand always? I mean why people can’t be clear and speak out, out and load as I use to do?
Do we have to live always wondering-guessing what the other wants from us without getting any response? Ignorance is bliss? Damn so many question and not a single answer....
I find myself thinking of justice (and I don’t believe in justice) repeating once and again countless times "it is not fair, it is not fucking fair!!!!". Maybe because it’s not me who is deciding, maybe because I am accustomed to have the control and without control I have zero tolerance with myself, so I punish CaREN, she deserves some kind of punishment, she deserves to be alone because she still thinks you’re the piece that make her whole...
I can close my eyes, cover my ears. I can stay silent, motionless gazing at the space, looking with a vacant stare to the stars, the same once we stared together...yet I can’t throw you out off my soul....For letting you decide if I indeed was desirable, for not letting go when it would’ve been the kindest thing. Now that I set you free, paradoxically you stay... What do you want from me?
You still have the power to make me feel impotent and uncomfortable in my own skin. If you can’t-don’t want-won’t stay with me (literally) .... Please... set me free...

"...Guarir non e’ possibile
la malattia di vivere
sapessi com’e’ vera questa cosa qui
E se ti fa soffrire un po’ puniscila vivendola
e’ l’unica maniera sorprenderla cosi’...
You’ve got one chance, the gift to feel
love’s deepest pain you cannot heal
it shatters every memory that you
keep inside
I tell you this because I know
protect what’s dear, don’t trade your soul
’cause there’s nothing left around you
there’s no place left to go..." *

In the meantime I will punish life living it....

From my refugee
* Più che puoi - Eros Ramazzotti