GiVe Up My HaRd EaRnEd StAtUs As FaBuLoUs FrEaK Of NaTuRe

Here comes the voice. It was quiet for a long time. I already lost myself and didn't want to know where but now I find myself in a crossroads. Ghosts from the past comes back to me trying to dig with its sharp fingers the soul of my life again. And no.... I was living descontaminated, comfortable in my own skin. I'd learn how to vanish into thin air, like smoke those unfortunately ghosts. Why are you coming back?
I know you want me isolated and unhappy but you are absolutely uninvited. I'd learn too after so many years that my eyes are in my face not in my neck anymore. So I have no doubts about my decision get outta of here cause I am not going to fight against you, no way, I wont waste my "marevellous and infinite mind power"doing it, I am just going to ignore your presence. I am going to use and abuse of my-self-call-mind- power to keep you away from me.
I usually wonder where the hell comes this forces to me now, at this particular time when I am alone with my heavy burden (my absolutely responsability), and I'd realized too that I'd met a lot of extrarodinary people who makes me think, and believe that I can, who are whit me even with "the material distance", who had always the right words to cheer me up, people that I feel I can trust more than the near ones. They push me into bliss, they think of me, they take care of me. Last sunday was my older son birthday and I forgot to remember my friends about it and my surprise when I'd opened my email and find a greeting card from my sweetheart PETER for Gianluca (Peter I will always love you) , my beloved JUHA from Finland also remembered God bless you . Such a little thing like find a card and after personalize it press send can make a world for someone and you both did it!
JIHNA, the parisien princess your words has been and are always like a cold and gentle breeze in a hot day, when I think of you comes to my mind GO CAREN, GO :P , EVA you are wondrously beautiful inside and out and we share more than our non violent smokers passion, GREG you are the kind of person I wish I had close to me to hold me and keep me safe from harm, LEO can not explain the immense pleasure I feel when I read you, so cultured , wise and respectful I see you like an unassailable fortress, you are amazing I've told you since the very first time we became "virtual friends" ; QUHYN I just can remain wide-eyed when I read you ... just can look you with a "look of worship" I wish I can give you a huge hug someday, I really do; DEAN I really appreciate your sense of humour, in fact I can't live without it, every morning reading you or ur "evil" side makes me happy..... And I can keep telling you about a lot of good and nice people who helps me to go through tough moments with no strings attached. No matter where you find them, be gratefull and let them know that you love them and how important are in you life... And of course I am here, there, everywhere for you :p

"...You can ask for space for yourself and only yourself and I'll grant it You can ask for freedom as well or time to travel and you'll have it You can ask to live by yourself or love someone else and I'll support it You can ask for anything you want anything at all and I'll understand it (and there are no strings attached to it)
You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have I give you thanks for receiving it's my privilege And you owe me nothing in return ..."**

"…always looked good on paper …sounded good in theory…"

** YOU OWE ME NOTHING IN RETURN lyrics by Alanis Morissette