Open letter to .... I want you and I thought that you should know that I believe, you are the winds that's underneath my wings....

I wonder if you ever ask How do I feel...If you do ... my first answer would be literally "with my hands" looking at you with a crafty look Actually I find myself unsure of how to respond. Maybe I would respond most of the time in my seasonal-emotional roller coaster state. Like orange seasons, TV show seasons I have my particular "you" season. I can spend months without thinking of you but when I think of you, when I have a season of "you" it become an intolerable mind weight to burden. I want you in my same wavelenght and I know I can’t do nothing to reach that blissful state "...You remain my power, my pleasure, my pain..."
As you can imagine I am going through a season of you right know and of course wondering how do you feel... What would be you answer...would you answer with a good excuse, those that you can’t differentiate between truth or lie... as you hadn’t answered it “right” previously ( my opinion) you would figure that you shouldn’t be quick to respond this time. Have you been too fast saying things you never felt? Better yet, you would decide not to say anything at all in the hopes that the conversation would move on to something else that you’re more comfortable in discussing...a subject that’s not so charged with emotions. Better better yet, "you wouldn’t answer" answering with a nonsense sentence, not even related with that I’ve asked... And it’s not just lack of communication but lack of quality and sensitivity in your words.Even the most discussed issues can still remain unclear if someone is saying/hearing one thing and the other person is hearing/saying something else. I do have to realise that I have a no win situation with you and you have to realise that you limit your own good by believing in close ideas.

"....please be philosophical
please be tapped into your femininity
please be able to take the wheel from me
please be crazy and curious
please be the jerk of my knee i’ve fit you always
you finish my sentences I think I love you
what is your name again no matter i’m guessing your thoughts again correctly and I love the way
you press my buttons so much sometimes I could strangle you
please be strangely enigmatic
please be just like my..." **

Please be decisive, open minded, outspoken, uninhibited, secure, ready... please be mine...


I don’t want to listen anymore your silence which spoke volumes....

PS: my message in black for you

From my refugee

** Princes Familiar lyrics by Alanis Morissette