I aM a SpIrIt ThAt KnOwS oF No LiMiT wHo KnOwS oF No CeiLinG
Last days I was thinking a lot of beating myself and try to wake up. Irealize that my loneliness was my choice and now I choose to do not be
alone anymore. I know people that read me or talk to me but dont know me in
person never believe when I say I am so-disagreeably-shameful. I can
understand it in some way when you are reading me writing that I practice
masturbation so openly, can confuse your perception of me. In fact if you
can not really know a person in real life how can you know me just because
u read my letters????? Sent it by e-mail to a person who I dont know at
all, dont know even his name There is an internal world, which is my
personal ,creative and spiritual development. That's the only thing I can
control. I can control how much knowledge I feed myself, but I can't control
what happens around me with people's perceptions of it.... And it not that
I care what people think about me, just I have been rejecting meet & date
men because I was fucked-by-love,
Because my shyness I feel most of the time incapable to afford it and
because I was protecting myself for fear of loos and abandonment and .I
was afraid of verbal daggers I was afraid of the calm before the storm I was
afraid for my own bones I was afraid of your seduction I was afraid of your
coercion I was afraid of your rejection I was afraid of your intimidation I
was afraid of your punishment I was afraid of your icy silences I was afraid
of your volume I was afraid of your manipulation I was afraid of your
explosions
Now it is the time to leave the past where it belongs, and to allow myself
to feel again in so-many ways I was preventing, my fight-to-fight just in
case. What the hell I cant avoid to suffer and I prefer to be
fucked-by-love again and of course fuck with love =)). Pleasuring myself
start to feels bored, even when I am not going to stop doing it
heheeheh .Well I am so-open to a friendly hand!!!!!!!!!
I just ask for so simple things like if you ask me to date just to fuck me
be clear, dont try the lets go to have a dinner (anyway I am going to say
no for now) . Here we goes with the complicated ones, dont make me gifts
just to date me or if you dont feel it because it doesnt work with me,
dont LIE to me I will never-ever forget you , TRUST me in every way, be
OPEN, tolerant, AFFECTIONATE , kind, HONEST , real ..Please dont be
perfect, be just addicted to me! Huh it is too much?
* Sympathetic Carácter Lyrics by Alanis Morissette
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