PlEaSe Be hOnEsT CaRiNa ArE yOu HaPpY..PlEaSe DoN't CeNsOr YoUr TeArS

Don't know how to express my feelings, my rage. I had a rule in my life which is "things are white or black" please don't give me gray, gray do not exists, it is just mixed of black and white and there are a lot of grays but just one white or one black.
Anyway I am amazed about how extremely-conservative or absolutely-liberal I am in my life situations. Now I am writing and if I look around what is this??? Geee I have 3 swimming pools in front of me plenty of strangers enjoying their holidays. These are my children holidays too. I am watching them laughing and playing in the pool, well that's the only thing I can and "must" do... take care of them. Sound like I am not enjoying? Sound absolutely right!!!!!
I choose a hotel where kids attraction are non-stop, you know what I am talking about ... 10.30 am kids aquagym, 12.30 kids basketball, a clown around the pool the whole day giving them candies. All day long kids activities which means that I have to check the schedule and like Disney Park and run fast to the next one (if you are a parent you know what I mean) And every night they have a MINI DISCO and they spent an hour before the night show , dancing, singing and playing games with music. Now is the time when you are wondering or want to ask me if this is a complain. NOT at all and absolutely YES.
Why NO?
Because it was my choice, because they deserve it and because seing thier smiles and joy is the biggest emotion and prize i can have in my life.
Why YES?
Because when two "adult"people decide to bring life to this world they assume the biggest and most important responsability untill they die. And today I am here in this wonderful "FAMILY" hotel alone with my children trying to duplicate my physical presence. If I close my eyes I just can hear kids voices saying "DAD" in different languages.
Do you want a real sad anecdote? Well last night at MINI DISCO my children were dancing and making with the other kids a long train so the entertainers asked "moms and dads stand up join your hands and make a tunnel" so they can pass for it. And I .... I.... I didn't know if to remain sitted or to stand, extend my arms and pretend to have "the" another person at the other side..so I just could remain sitted clapping my hands and trying from my deepest inside not to cry....

"...What's the matter Mary Jane, you had a hard day
As you place the don't disturb sign on the door
You lost your place in line again, what a pity
You never seem to want to dance anymore
So take this moment Mary Jane AND BE SELFISH
Worry not about the cars that go by
All that matters Mary Jane is your freedom
Keep warm my dear, keep dry..."**

**Mary Jane Lyrics by Alanis Morissette