I'm at a place called vertigo ¿Dónde está? It's everything I wish I didn't know !!!
well well... how many things have Hiltler’s unrecognized daugther go through to pay his debts? 
Okay I will stop the tango-drama story... A month ago I lost my 14 years old dog sister, a bloody painful moment as many I’ve been going through apparently alone. Just apparently...
I want to thank my beloved friends who stayed and supported me with love and presence,
caressed me with warm words and hold me tight when I was hanging from the cliff...what a patienceeeeee!!!!!! Marta (my alter ego, my toxic twin) Eva (my living womb - scary "luci" inside a lift) Javier (my friend who destiny decided through a test that he loves me and that our song is Hero from Mariah Carey 
) ... and especially to Ruiwei (my pervert & sweet Chinese), Gonçalo (my sweet-Gothic-Portuguese crazy-little-baby ) because they had to deal with absolute androphobic mood ... I love you so much guys! and of course Antonio (my Italian guardian angel) for make me smile sometimes and laugh out loud more often "excellent therapy". As you wrote "tirerò un sasso di quelli che saltano sull acqua e fato finta che ogni piccolo salto sia un problema risolto" I will never forget how you made me feel with that sentence.
How can I find so logical to say I love you and be grateful and show my feelings to others, a normal thing to receive love & kisses & caresses without questioning anyone or anything when others feels that like something incredible or with strings attached?
Anyways I treasure every little piece of love received during my life and remember them daily as an engine to keep fighting against my self-awareness. I am sorry I find myself and I like what I’ve found.
After my trip to Canada I’ve changed a lot...ghosts of the past stayed there and disappeared fading into a beautiful new independent life but running the same pathway plenty of love, truth and respect. Excellent excuse to keep travelling :=)
I am also planning to move, filling applications, following the steps required without wonder too many things, sometimes we have to stop thinking and flow like waterfalls, wherever the wind wants to bring me... I will be there. I don’t believe in coincidences, every person I’ve met in my life, every place I’ve been, every hand I’ve held was meant to be.
This month will be a mess with all the parties, Xmas Company party (the boss will be there so ...behaving!!) Xmas familiar and a new year’s eve... Let’s see if this time I can enjoy them because it is always a sort of nightmare to me.
Next January 2nd is my birthday (you can consult my wish list...) and I will celebrate it in a very special way ^_^ ....
"E raccontano che lui si trasformò in albero e che fu per scelta sua
che si fermò e stava lì a guardare la terra partorire fiori nuovi
Così fu nido per conigli e colibri il vento gl´insegnò i sapori
di resina e di miele selvatico e pioggia lo bagnò
la mia felicità - diceva dentro se stesso -
Ecco... ecco... l´ho trovata ora che ora che sto bene e che ho tutto il tempo
per me non ho più bisogno di nessuno
ecco la bellezza della vita che cos´è
ma un giorno passarono di lì due occhi di fanciulla,
due occhi che avevano rubato al cielo un po´ della sua vernice
e senti tremar la sua radice
quanto smarrimento d´improvviso dentro se
quello che solo un uomo senza donna sa che cos´è
e allungo i suoi rami per toccarla...
"Capi che la felicità non è mai la metà di un infinito"
ora era insieme luna e sole, sasso e nuvola era insieme riso e pianto o
soltanto era un uomo che cominciava a vivere
ora era il canto che riempiva la sua grande immensa solitudine,
era quella parte vera che ogni favola d´amore racchiude in se
per poterci credere" *
"please be philosophical
please be tapped into your femininity
please be able to take the wheel from me
please be crazy and curious
please be a sexaholic
please be unpredictably miserable
please be self absorbed much (not the good kind)
please be addicted to some substance
please be the jerk of my knee I’ve fit you always you finish my sentences I think I love you
what is your name again no matter I’m guessing your thoughts again correctly and I love the way you press my buttons so much sometimes I could strangle you " **
From my refugee to share my love
* Favola - Eros Ramazzotti
** Princess Familiar - Alanis Morissette
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Gonçalo -