DoNt YoU dArE tO JuDgMe SyMpLy By mY wOrdS
I wonder why people think can judge you without knowing you. Yesterday someone told me I cant understand people like you that
. What the hell? I dont want you to understand me. Am I asking you??? Someone people think can judge or give you advises. Nobody has the right to judge. Yesterday also someone asked me it is your life so bad??? And I say YES!!! It is for me.. Of course my life for a woman who is watching her son die it is a bed of roses. Of course and I agree. But for me, my life right now is a shit. Oh and the advises people!!! They are simply amazing . They cant handle their penis to pee but they want to teach you how to do things good in life!!! Please!!!!
We have highs and lows and also stand by state. Stand by state for me is the worse. You just move yourself left to right and reverse (right to left just in case Forrest Gump is reading my blog!!!) but you do not go high or low. You are in mid air. You are in and going to nowhere. You are Stocked.
Being high is so ephemeral that maybe you cant realize you was there. But the high moments in your life are unforgettable. A kiss, a hug, your sons smile, an extended hand, the bright sun, the fresh air, a phone call or an e-mail from this special person you are waiting for, a birth, a grateful word, single and simple beautiful moments. They worth for a million low moments.
Being low is also necessary in life. You learn a lot when you are low. Lowest you are, more you learn . And I think is also a balance that out brain needs (of course not medically talking!!!) Is just because there are a lot of people who needs to learn to read between lines
But the question here is how low state you mind can handle? I am low, underground, under everything. I am bended on my knee waiting for something that helps me to stand up. People use to say that you have to touch ground level to start to go up, thats more than logical, you have to touch down first.
I wonder WHERE IS MY GROUND LEVEL??? I am looking down and I just can see emptiness, a big black hollow ..no light, no end there. I cant see it. So I am afraid I have to keep on falling (geee I sound so f*cking Alicia Keys XDD ). You see how in the middle of nowhere you can smile! Thats what I love from me, my powerful capacity of laugh on myself. I think I already say it. I laugh on myself every single day of my life, even when I am crying.
Last night I fall sleep crying. Tonight I am going to cry more than yesterday Need to see the end, since I see it I will survive ( oh my now Gloria Gaynor!!! Worse than ever!!!) with my ephemeral high moments.
PS: If you want to say something say it here.
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CaREN -
Carl Webb -