FoR sMiLiNg WhEn My StRiFe WaS aLl ToO oBvIoUs

How many times do I have to give you explanations? "...why can't you just you read my mind??...". I so hate you judging me, thinking I am acting in a "wrong way", that I am not doing what you think is "perfect" or just thinking I am doing things that I am not doing. What the hell do you want from me? I can give you my soul if you ask for it and you know that. And I so hate myself for keep smiling you. What's wrong with my attitude with other people? I am not going to allow you or any other smart-wise-intelligent man letting deceide if I am being a "nice girl" from his point of view. You are the one who is keeping the physical distance, you are the one who doens't take the phone and call, you are the one rejecting my sugestions about us!! Stupid should I call myself for thinking in the "OK I will act like you want being-staying-breathing-taking just with you.
At this time you must know that I am not the kind of woman you used to be with. Do I worth more than you can handle? And yes... yes and yes I am still mad at you because your words. You know I am not the easy-forgive-woman, in fact , I don't want to put my never-ever-going to forgive-you-in-my-fucking-life mode, you don't want it neither.
Don't you think is time to start to act like adults? I start to believe that you don't know me at all. It is so unfair from you to ...... and DAMN now I have to read you again? Why you think you can come and go into my life and leave this mess. Just come and stay !!! It is so difficult? If the answer is YES just be my guest....
Taking risks it not one of your favourites sports, you so-safe-bored life keep you blocked and I am not going to follow you in this. Can you fix a rectangle into a hole? Nobody can.

"....In my dreams I'm dying all the time
As I wake its kaleidoscopic mind
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to lie
So this is goodbye
This is goodbye....." **

** PORCELAIN Lyrics by Moby